The World Doesn't Give You What You Want, It Gives You What You Need
Not getting what we want is disappointing, but it's often for the best. Building the resilience to bounce back and learning to be patient helps us win in the long game of life.
Why do people find it so difficult to get over things that didn't quite go their way? Have we become a soft and less resilient generation?
Over time, I have found that the best approach to things that don't go my way is to simply accept them – accept that it was for the best. As much as we would all love to always get what we want, I don't think having all our desires met is a good thing – otherwise, we'll be like this spoiled brat who was given a brand new car for her sixteenth birthday by her parents, but complained that it was the wrong colour – how ungrateful can one be?
If we were to truly get everything we wanted, to have all our desires fulfilled, we would probably still be living in our hometown, married to our high school sweetheart, we'd still be in our first jobs, flipping burgers at McDonald's, perhaps the highlight of our career will be progressing as the manager of our local branch.
That reality doesn't fill me with any sort of excitement, so maybe it's good that our desires are not always fulfilled. Not getting what we want gives us the freedom to think creatively and look for ways to succeed. During this process, we often realise that the thing we want, may not be what we thought we wanted all along. Or sometimes, we end up getting something else entirely that may even be better for us over the long term.
The world doesn't always give us what we want... it gives us what we need.
If we ever really want something and didn't get it, it's often best to accept that maybe this isn't the right place or time for us to obtain that desire.
We may need to be patient; for someone like me who is chronically impatient, my own advice is something I try to remind myself whenever I find myself not getting the outcome I wanted. Knowing when to be patient helps me build resilience and recognise that life is about the long game, not short term thinking, or instant gratification.
Life is about the long game. We're not always going to get what we want. But if we're patient enough, most of the time, we'll get what we need.
Have an awesome week ahead,
This Week's Wisdom
"We are not always humiliated by failing at things; we are humiliated only if we first invest our pride and sense of worth in a given achievement, and then do not reach it."
– Status Anxiety, by Alain de Botton
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